An idiot's love
by I'mjusttryingtofindmyway
Summary: ONE-SHOT Harry falls in love with a girl whose smile lights up his world. She came into his life by breaking into his home, and they meet for first time when Harry fell down the stairs trying to get a look at her.


"Ouch!"

Harry got up with wand in hand. He opened the door to the smallest bedroom in number 4 Privet drive and walked out carefully. Someone was downstairs, someone with friends.

"For Gods sakes Tonks! Could you be any louder?" a familiar gruff voice hissed out. Harry groaned, 'is that Moody?'

Harry stuck to the walls as he went ot the stairs and looked down. Standing at the door were a group of people Harry had never seen before, they were whispering to each other in hushed tones, barely audible.

Harry bent down and squinted at them. He recognized Moody right away with his electric blue eye and peg leg. He was currently yelling at someone Harry couldn't see. Growing curious Harry slowly leaned forward trying to get a better look at the person, and the moment he did he lost his breath.

The first thing Harry noticed was her hair. It was bright pink and cut to her shoulders. That was why he was so surprised. The girl was a rebel. No, not a girl, a woman.

The woman was young, maybe a few years older than Harry himself. She was grinning, even though Moody looked like he was going to curse her point blank. And her eyes, well they were brown, somehow, even in the dark, Harry could tell at least that.

She had several bright and shiny necklaces around her neck and leather bracelets around her wrist. She chuckled, "I'm sorry Moody, won't happen again," even her voice was bubbly, like someone had taken a pepperup potion and given it a voice. In fact everything about her screamed life, from the way she moved to the way she acted.

Harry leaned forward to get a better, closer look but leaned too forward and he fell. 'Oh shit-' Harry cursed as he tumbled down the stairs head over heels. He lost his wand half way down and hit his head probably three times.

Harry slide across the floor and landed in front of the group of intruders, "that hurt."

"Well...this isn't exactly what I expected, but I suppose it is nice to see you," Harry grinned and looked up to find Lupin standing over him with a smile.

"Hello Professor Lupin, nice night for a break in?" Harry asked with a grin. The woman with the pink hair laughed, but Moody immediately shot her a glare and silenced her. Harry looked at the woman and smiled, his heart warmed knowing he made her laugh.

"Well up you go," Lupin said helping Harry up, "how have you been Harry? Keeping yourself sane?"

Harry nodded, "something like that."

"Good," Lupin then introduced Harry to the people gathered around. First was Alastor Moody, obviously. Then Emmeline Vance, an older witch, Kingsley Shacklebolt an Auror. Elphias Doge, an older wizarding friend of Dumbledore's, Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones and Sturgis Podmore.

"And this, is Nymphadora Tonks," Lupin said finally introducing Harry to the pink haired woman.

"Don't call me Nymphadora," the woman hissed as her hair suddenly turned a shade of red Harry often saw Ron's face turn when speaking to Fleur.

Harry blinked and nodded, "I see, then would you prefer I called you beautiful instead?" Immediately Harry's bravery fled him, he had no idea where that came from. Nymphadora on the other hand just laughed, probably used to hearing things like that.

Lupin's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "My Harry you certainly have grown."

Harry gaped, "I...I have no idea where that came from."

Nymphadora smiled, "they never told me you were a charmer Harry."

"Trust me, he's not," Moody wiped out his wand.

"Woah!" Harry backed away with his hands up.

"Who are you?! Are you Harry Potter?!"

"What?! Yes!"

"Lupin ask him something only the really Harry would know."

Remus sighed, "Alastor there isn't-"

"-Do it Lupin!"

Remus sighed, "Harry, who is Padfoot?"

"Sirius, that's his nickname as written in the map," Harry said not taking his eyes off Moody's wand. And that was how Harry's first conversation with Nymphadora ended.

Soon Harry was told why they had come, to recuse him. Nymphadora immediately volunteered to help pack his things for him. As Harry lead her up the stairs he felt his heart race, his cheeks flush, 'am I in love? Again?! First it was Cho, who had a boyfriend, now it's an older woman! Boy can I pick them!'

Harry however wasn't going to let this chance slip by his fingers, he coughed, "so you still haven't told me what you want me to call you."

Harry turned and saw her smile, "well you can continue to call me beautiful if you want." Harry stumbled and fell down, Tonk laughed, "careful Harry. You're going to lose a tooth!"

Harry blushed, "r-right."

Soon Harry was all packed and flying through London with the 'advanced gaurd' as Lupin dubbed the little group that had come to spring him out off his prison.

Harry was then introduced to the Order of the Pehonix and number 12 Grimudlar place. He got to see more of Tonks for a few seconds before she and the others went to a private meeting, one which Harry wasn't allowed to attend.

Harry felt betrayed and saddened. Betrayed because he wasn't allowed to listen in on the meeting, saddened because he couldn't see more of Tonks.

At dinner that night Harry sat and watched Tonks perform a series of tricks with her powers. She transformed her nose into a beak and even a pig's nose. Ginny, Hermione and Ron loved it, they all laughed, while Harry just looked on with a smile and dreamy look on his face,he was happy just seeing her.

Almost as if she read his mind Tonks turned to Harry with her pig nose in place and wiggled her eyebrows, "still think I'm beautiful Harry?"

Without hesitation Harry nodded, "yes. You are."

Ginny Hermione and Ron stopped laughing. Sirius and Remus stopped chatting and turned so fast Harry swore he heard their neck crack. Slowly everyone else stopped wondering why the rest went silent.

Harry blinked, "d-did I say that outloud?"

Ron laughed, "mate you got it bad!"

Harry blushed, he couldn't believe he just said that outloud, again. And he couldn't' believe Ron would just laugh at him like that, no wait, yes, that he could believe.

Ginny looked horrified while Hermione didn't know how to process what Harry just said. Sirus on the other hand knew exactly what to do.

"BAHAHAHA!" Sirius laughed so hard tears fell down his eyes, "oh Gods! Harry you are the only one who had made Nymphadora shut up like that! God job my God son!"

At hearing her first name Tonks' couldn't' help breaking out of her stupor, "hey! Don't call me Nymphadora!"

Remus laughed as Sirius and Tonks began to call each other names, while the rest of the order members simply smiled.

That night before going to bed Ron asked something, "mate, are you in love with Tonks?"

Harry looked up from his bed, "I...I don't know… I think so."

"I see...well piece of advice? Don't get your hopes up, from what I hear she's already had her sights of some guy."

"Really? Who?"

Ron shrugged, "don't know, the twins wouldn't tell me."

Harry nodded. That night he didn't sleep, a lot was on his mind. Voldemort, the order, the trial he was about to face and even the slanderous things the Prophet told about him and Dumbledore. But above all there was one thing on Harry's mind, 'who the hell does Tonks love?!'

Harry's trial went fine, somewhat, and the summer ran along. Harry spent every second he got looking at Tonks. He tried his best not too, oh how he tried. But in the end he grew to only wonder more and more about Tonks. What did she like? What's her favorite colour? Did sh like chocolate frogs or every flavoured beans more? Did she like her hair pink or was it simply something she did to stand out?

And above all there was one question on his mind, 'who they hell does Tonks love?!'

He talked to her when he could, though when he did he blushed, stammered and acted like an over all child. He didn't like it, but he couldn't help himself, but that time Harry realised he was well and truly enchanted by the rebel. She was everything he wanted to be, someone who didn't care about what others thought of her, someone good who fought against Voldemort.

She never cared that he was the boy-who-lived, she always called him Harry in a childish way, she saw him for him. She didn't expect the world of him, she wanted to protect him. Was it so wrong that he loved the fact that he didn't have to play the hero role around her?

But time went by, he barely said more than a few words to her, and by now everyone knew Harry had something of a crush on her, but he didn't care.

On September first Harry and the other's were on their way to Hogwarts once more. Sirius accompanied them as a dog. Once at the station the marauder pulled Harry aside to talk to him private.

"This Harry is the original order of the phoenix," Sirius passed Harry a picture featuring several witches and wizards, "that is Lily and James."

Harry had tears coming from his eyes, "I-I don't know what to say Sirius. Thank you."

Sirius nodded, "it's okay Harry," he smiled a sHarry traced the faces of his parents with his fingers. Sirius put his hand around Harry, "you know there is this other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

Harry looked up, "what is it Sirius?"

"Well you see a little birdie told me you have a little crush on our favorite Metamorphmagus."

Harry rolled his eyes, "it wasn't a birdie Sirius it was me staring at her like a love sick puppy."

"Haha, true, very true. Harry...I wanted to tell you that Tonks is...well she isn't right for you Harry."

Harry sighed, "I know Sirius, I know. She's way too old for me, I know that but...well I can't help feeling like...well you know."

"I know, believe me I know. I once knew this girl Harry, hair as bright as the sun and she smile twice as powerful. She was a like a ray of sunshine in my life, I couldn't' help but be drawn to her. Remembering her smile even got me through some dark days in Azkaban."

"W-what happened?"

Sirius smiled sadly, "she married a bloke named Winsworth and left to France. She didn't want to be part of this world, and I didn't want to put her in harms way, so I let her go."

Harry hung his head, "so I should give up? Is this because Tonk's already has someone she likes?"

Sirius sighed, "Harry, as much as I loved to be with her, I wanted more for her to be happy. Ad she couldn't be that with me. Tonk's is different, she can handle your life, but she already likes someone else Harry. And you have to respect that."

"I know Sirius. I know."

Harry's godfather patted his back, "don't worry Harry, one day you'll find the one, and believe me, when you do you will have forgotten all about Tonks."

"That's just it Sirius, I think I already meet the one, only problem is she's in love with someone else."

Sirius didn't really have a proper answer to that. Soon Harry was in the train pulling out of the station, he waved the order members goodbye and caught one last look at Tonks. He knew he could never be with her, he had to move on. Trying to be with was like trying to count the stars, a pointless venture.

As his fifth year went on Harry faced many challenges. Umbridge for one, and once again the school had turned their back against him claiming him to be a liar. He also however meet new people, like Luna Lovegood, a strange yet likeable Ravenclaw. A few months in and Tonks was just a memory of summer he had suppressed. He tried his best not think about her, and when you are trying your best to survive a war with a powerful, evil wizard to tend to have a lot on your mind.

A few days before Christmas Harry found himself finishing up the last lesson for the DA. They had all worked hard, and deserved the oncoming break.

Cho had cornered Harry, they talked, the asian girl looked up and smiled, "look Harry, a mistletoe."

Harry blinked and sure enough the room of requirement provided a mistletoe right above them. Harry looked at Cho and smiled, the girl leaned forward and captured his lips. Harry kissed back, her lips were wet, he waited, he wanted to feel that joy, that excitement that people had told him. But it never came.

Cho broke the kiss, and looked at Harry, torn between smiling and crying. In the end she chose to cry as she broke in tears and ran out of the room leaving Harry alone.

The boy-who-lived had never felt more defeated in his life. 'Did she cry because I was doing it wrong? Did she cry because I was bad? Or did she cry because it was me she was kissing and not Cedric?'

Harry looked up the flames and touched his lips, he felt nothing, absolutely nothing from that kiss. He didn't feel happy, he didn't feel satisfied. He sighed, he wanted to fall in love, he wanted to move on, but he couldn't. He tried his best not to think about it, but he wondered in the corner of his mind how Tonks' lips would taste.

That christmas Harry found himself in Sirius' place once more. Arthus was back from St. mungo's and in peak health, or at least his appetite was. Everyone from the order was there to cheer him up, Tonks herself had brought him a slice of pie from, what she called, 'the best pie in the entire London area!'

Tonks looked to Harry, "so Harry did you enjoy your first term?"

Harry couldn't' help it, he blushed, "y-yeah Tonks. It was fun. Though Umbridge was a little too much to handle."

"Don't worry Harry, you'll get her soon," Tonks patted his shoulder walking away. Harry stiffened, when she touched him his chest tightened, he had goosebumps running down his arm. He had it bad, so very bad.

He didn't think anyone noticed, but Sirius did. That night his god father and him sat down once again after dinner was over. They were alone in his attic with only Buckbeak for company.

"Harry-"

"-I'm sorry," Harry cut in, "I'm sorry Sirius."

The man blinked, "what for?"

"I'm sorry, but I tried to do what you said, stop thinking about her. I did, I tried my best, all throughout the year I didn't think about Tonks. A few days before christmas I even kissed a girl Sirius! Like on the lips and everything! But...but when I was doing that, I couldn't help but wonder how Tonks would kiss. And now, when I saw her, I think my heart literally skipped a beat!"

Sirius sighed, "Harry, we talked about this. She is too old for you."

"She's just six years older than me Sirius, just because my parents were the same age doesn't mean we have to be."

"Harry she is a fully grown woman, she had a job, a life. Harry you don't even know what you are going to do in the future."

"Well I'm sorry Sirius! If I could I would love someone else!" Harry jumped up pushing his chair back, "if I could I would stop thinking about her! I would walk right down there and talk to her like she was any other person, but she's not! She;s not like anyone I know. Every time she speaks, I feel like everything will be fine, every time I look sad she makes me laugh. She...she makes me happy Sirius."

Sirius Black, the man who escaped Azkaban with his sanity, the man who ran with a werewolf every day for seven years, finally meet his match, a love struck teenager. "Harry, I'm sorry. I am...but she doesn't feel that way."

"And how do you know?" Harry said growling.

Sirius snapped, "because she told me! So if you would stop acting like a stupid love sick child I-," Harry's eyes went wide. Immediately Sirius realised what he had done, "Harry I am so sorry I-"

Harry ran out of the attic, 'no, I won't cry. I won't cry like Cho did, like a girl who lost her bleeding puppy!' He walked into his room and slapped the door shut startling Ron.

"Mate, what's wrong? Did something happen with Sirius?"

"No, good night Ron."

"But Harry-"

"-I said goodnight!" Harry snapped as he took off his shoes and socks slipping underneath his covers facing away from his best friend.

Ron looked concerned, but he didn't want to face Harry's wrath, again. He switched off the light and tucked himself in, "good night Harry," he called out, but he got no response.

Harry's eyes were glassed over, 'she told him. She told him flat out she didn't like me.' He guessed that before, but there was still a faint hope, that something could happen. But now...now he knew, she didn't like him. 'She probably hates me, of course she does, I act like a clown every time she talks to me. God, how could I be so stupid? How?! WHy did I let myself feel this way?! Why didn't I stop this immediately? I knew she wouldn't' take me, I always knew! But...but I hoped, I hoped that for once i'm my miserable life things would go my way. Just once.'

Harry grew angry, the world hated him, it called him a liar, his friend ether thought he was a liar or expected him to fight Voldemort for them. The only person in the world he even considered family member just called him a love sick child. He was nothing, no, no he was something, he was the boy-who-lived, and that's what he will always be. Just a boy. To Tonks, to the world.

'Fine, she doesn't want anything to do with me, that's okay. That's fine. I can't blame her. Tomorrow, starting tomorrow, when I see her, I'll show her, I'll show her that I don't care. She won't get the pleasure of seeing me sad, I refuse her the chance to pity me. I won't let her see me affected by this. I refuse to let anyone take pity on me ever again.'

He hated being pitied, he didn't want anyone to treat him like something to hold and pity, least of all Tonks.

The next day Harry found himself eating breakfast with Ron and Hermione, they were talking about the next term and DA meetings but HArry wasn't paying attention. Tonks then walked down stairs, "morning all! And how are my lovely Hogwarts students doing?"

Hermione greeted back, "we are fine Tonks. Just discussing our OWLS."

"Yeah, sounds like we really have our work cut out for us with Umbridge teaching the DADA," Ron grumbled.

"Don't worry mate, we'll get by," Harry said patting Ron's back. He looked at TOnk's and gave a smile, "morning Tonks. Sleep well?"

Tonks was a little surprised, and her faced showed it. Harry didn't stammer, or even have that look of longing he did, "ah, yeah, Harry, I did."

"Good," Harry ate a mouthful of cereal, and looked at Tonk's staring at him, "well? Are you just going to stare at me? Sit down, eat something."

"Right," Tonks sat down and quickly ate her food. Through the meal not once did Harry look at her. He talked to ether Ron or Hermione, and if not that eh simply looked at his bowl of flakes. He didn't ignore her though, he asked her about becoming an auror and how she did it. It was the first proper question Harry had with Tonks, and he felt better for it.

In the end he wondered if he had a shot, by the end of breakfast Tonks looked happy. She looked like she didn't mind him talking to her. But immediately Harry remembered Sirius' words, 'she doesn't feel that way.'

Harry hated his heart, it was so bloody weak. One glimpse of a chance with her, and it dropped the new attitude he swore to take up. Harry resolved himself, he refused to let himself be humiliated like that again. He refused to be that stupidly in love.

The day they were leaving Harry and the other's were sent off at the floo. Sirius hugged HArry one last time before he left, "HArry, about that night-"

"-Don't worry Sirius, I got the message," Harry cut him off, "I understood, I'm doing my best, ask Tonks if you don't believe me."

"It's not that I don't want this for you HArry it's just-"

"I know Sirius, I know. You don't have to say it, goodbye, see you next summer," and with that Harry stepped into the green flames.

The year went by and Harry stuck to his promise. He didn't think of Tonks, not even once. He even went out of his way to move on by dating CHo Chang. But once again, that was not a good idea. The date...well let's just say Harry almost swore off dating in general after that fiasco.

The year was over. Voldemort was revealed to the world, the Minister of Magic and his staff were shamed. Umbridge was sent out of Hogwarts. Harry learnt of the prophecy, and Sirius….Sirius was dead.

Harry sat on the wall of the astronomy tower looking down. It was the last night in campus, and the stars were out shining in the sky. He should be looking up at them, but he was not, he was looking down.

He god father was dead, he died, and it was all his fault. And worse off the last proper words he shared with the man was in anger about a stupid little crush Harry had on a woman who probably hated him now.

He wanted to jump, but no, that was stupid. It was something only a weak person would do, and Harry swore he would never be weak again. It seemed silly, to keep yourself alive based solely on your pride, but to Harry it mattered, it mattered a lot.

He had a destiny, he was always meant to fight him, to kill him. Voldemort was his mortal enemy, after all, one cannot live while the other survives.

He recalled the last time he spoke properly to Sirus, not his last words, which were words of encouragement, but the last proper conversation they had. Harry was angry with him, acted like Sirius had somehow treated him like a fool.

The man was only trying to protect his godson, and Harry treated him like the enemy. His last words were hostile and spoken in hate. And that was another reason Harry knew that love was a curse. No matter what Dumbledore said, love was a curse.

Harry chuckled a dark laugh, 'if it is a curse maybe I could inflict it on Voldemort? Make him love everyone so much eh wouldn't be capable of harming even a fly. Maybe even make him so guilt ridden about all the people he has killed that would commit suicide just to escape the pain.'

It was a funny thought for Harry, Voldemort and love, two of his greatest enemies. If only he could destroy them both.

Harry started the summer in the Dursleys walking around the neighbourhood. He refused to stay inside, they hated him, he hated them, both parties didn't want this, so it was in everyone's best interest that they simply spent as much time away from each other as possible.

Harry sat in the park like he did every day after noon. He sat there and watched the clouds go by, the day was hot, so bloody hot. The park was filled with children years younger than him playing without a care in the world. He on the other hand had to fight a madman with a snake fetish.

As time went by Harry sat there in silence wondering what he should do. Dumbledore told him to wait and do nothing, but he honestly didn't feel like doing that. He wanted to get up and do something fun.

Soon it became dark and Harry left the park. He wanted to eat something before he returned to Dursley's and their diet, which Dudley had already cheated on. He wondered into the nearest underground and found a small little deli with a cute waitress.

Harry walked in and sat down. The girl walked up to him with her pad, she smiled, "hello, what can I get you?"

"A cup of coffee and a sandwich please," Harry asked flashing her his biggest smile.

"Black?"

"Cream and sugar please."

"Oh, quite a sweet tooth you have there.."

"Harry, Harry Potter."

"Right, well Mr. Potter I'll be right with your order."

The woman walked back to the counter and gave the chef Harry's meal order. She then walked back, "it'll take a few minutes."

"Right, not a problem, ms..."

"Sally, Sally Wager."

"Pleasure to meet you Sally," Harry smiled politely.

Sally looked nervous, very nervous. She looked like she wanted to say something, and finally she did, "Harry, tell me, are you busy after this?"

Harry looked surprised, "ah, no, not really."

"Great, well you see I'm kind of new to this part of town, I was wondering if you know-"

"-Well I would love too, but I can't, I'm kind of...well expecting someone," Harry lied.

"Oh, oh, right. Got it," Sally walked away heartbroken. Harry ate his meal silently, looking at the waitress from the corner of his eye. She didn't change the way she acted with him, even when he lied and told her he was seeing someone she just acted normally.

And when he was done she just smiled at him and waved him goodbye, asking him to come again, when he isn't that busy.

Harry wondered if this is what normal people would do when getting rejected, acti like it didn't just happen and move on. But Harry was anything but normal, and before that was always a good thing, but when it came to love Harry was special in a bad way.

He didn't want to disappoint her, he really didn't, but he made a promise, he would never feel that weak again, never again. The last time he fell in love it was with a woman who didn't even think of him as a man. And when he was rejected he took it badly, lashing out against those who actually loved him. Love was a weakness, Harry knew it.

As Harry walked back to the Dursley's he passed by the park once more and suddenly heard someone follow him.

"You know that wasn't very nice what you did back there Harry," Harry turned, he knew that voice.

"Are you spying on me now Tonks?" Harry asked as the metamorphmagus revealed herself form under a invisibility cloak. She looked sick, here bubblegum hair looked brown, her smile looked forced and her pepperup potion like voice sounded like a shot of skele gro.

"Dumbledore assigned us to protect you Harry," Tonks explained.

"So you were following me."

"Of sorts."

"Right...well goodbye," Harry walked away. Tonks quickly caught up and started to walk besides him. Harry sighed, he really didn't want to deal with her of all people. Not now. "Can I help you Tonks?"

"Why are you acting like this Harry?" Tonks asked.

"Like what Tonks?"

"Like an ass!"

Harry glared at her, "ad why am I acting like an ass?"

"That girl back there, she wanted to go out on a date!"

"Yes, I got that when she asked me if I was doing anything later. Your point?"

"Why did you lie?!"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "you wanted me to go out with her?"

"Yes!"

Harry rolled his eyes, "why? What good would come off it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a wizard and she's a muggle Tonks, do you really think that's a relationship that's built to last?"

"You know as well as I that there are plenty to muggles that have married magical beings. You're making excuses Harry."

"Well then how about the fact that I'm Harry freakin Potter?" HArry snapped stopping and glaring at Tonks, "I have a target on my back the size of Hogwarts, which sane witch is going to want to put up with that?!"

"So you don't even try?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because love is a weakness," Harry snapped, "it does nothing but hurt the person and the people around them."

"Your parents love you Harry, they gave their lives for you."

"ANd they are dead. Sirius too, and he's dead. I didn't understand it then but I do now, loving someone will do nothing but make them a target and hurt me in the process. It's easier to not get involved in the first place."

"Harry if you keep doing this then you won't be living this life, merely existing."

"Well so bloody what?! I have a fuckign experation date Tonks, in case you haven't noticed I'm probably going to die, this year or the next. If I'm lucky it's going to be an AK to the head, if not he'll probably kill everyone I love and make me watch before he kills me as well. So forgive me if I want to reduce the number of people dying for me!"

"I...I..." Tonks looked at Harry, she watched as tears fell freely down his cheeks. "Harry, you're crying."

"I know," Harry wiped them away. "Good bye Tonks. Stop telling me how to live my life, you're not Sirius, he's dead."

Harry walked passed a stunned Tonks as he walked to Surrey. He cursed himself, he showed weakness again, and worst off all in front of Tonks. He showed her how weak he was, and he yelled at her. He should hate her, but he couldn't' help but feel sad, Tonk's didn't deserve this, she deserved better.

He hated himself, he hurt her. He wanted to apologize immediately, right then and there. But when he turned around she was gone, leaving Harry alone.

The summer at the Dursley's quickly came to a close as Dumbledore himself came to pick up Harry. After their little meeting with Slughorn Harry found himself at the Burrow. Dumbledore walked in with a smile, "hello Molly."

"Albus! I thought you were going to be here only an hour later!" the plump woman hugged the headmaster, "Harry! You look well dear!"

Harry smiled as he hugged the Weasley matriarch, "thank you ma'am," he broke the hug and saw another person at the kitchen table. It was Tonks, she was almost unrecognizable. Her hair looked like dishwater mixed with mud, she didn't even smile.

"Ah Nymphadora, how are you this evening?" Dumbledore asked.

"Good professor," Tonks nodded. Now Harry was really concerned, she didn't even bother to tell him to not call her Nymphadora. "If you'll excuse me sir."

She quickly began to walk away, Harry was torn between following her and letting her go. But in the end the former won, he needed to say something to her.

Harry walked out just as Tonks drew her wand to Apparate away, "Tonks!"

The girl moved like a corpse as she saw Harry, "what is it Harry?"

"I...I wanted to apologize," Harry spoke up as he walked up to her, "I took things too far, I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Tonks shock her head, "don't be, you weren't wrong Harry. I had no right telling you what to do, you were right to be angry at me."

Harry wanted to feel good being told he wasn't to blame, but he didn't, if anything eh felt worse. "Tonks...why are you like this?"

The woman raised an delicate eyebrow, "what do you mean?"

"Why are you so...well, un-Tonks like?"

"I'm not following you Harry," Tonks groaned.

"When I first saw you Tonks I literally fell down a set of stairs just to get a better look at you. Do you know why I did that?"

"No, I don't," she sighed, sounding irritated.

"It's because you sounded like a pepperup potion give life," Harry smiled at her for the first time in months. She was so unprepared she flinched at the smile, "your hair looked like a bubblegum Tonks. And they way you talked with everyone, you could light up a room."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"We need that optimism Tonks, now more than ever."

"Why? Is that all I'm good for? Just being a trophy cheering everyone up when they need it? Especially when they hate me for it" Tonks narrowed her eyes, "why should I bother? Remember what you said Harry? I should stop telling you how to live your life, I'm not Sirius, he's dead."

"I-I was angry Tonks, I didn't mean it. Honest."

"Yeah, sure," Tonks wiped out out her wand, "goodbye Harry."

Harry growled, he hated this. She was angry with him but he didn't care, she thought he was scum but he didn't care. She hates him truly, but he didn't mind it, a lot of people hate him, one more didn't matter.

But what Harry hated beyond anything else is the fact that he failed to make her smile. She was a good person, she deserved better than Harry, maybe that's what Sirius was trying to imple without hurting his feelings. Tonks deserved someone better, she deserved to be happy. Harry hated that he couldn't make her happy, but he would rather her be happy with someone else than not with him.

So Harry did something no one with the will to live would ever do. If they valued their lives they wouldn't even think about doing what he was about to do, but at this point Harry would be willing to do anything to make Tonks smiled. Even if that meant dieing in the process.

"Fine," Harry said shrugging, "run away Nymphadora, see if I care if Nymphadora runs away."

Tonk's left eyes twitched, "that's childish Harry."

"What's wrong Nym Nym? I thought little Nymphadora is going to leave? Is she not feeling well? It's okay, if I had a name like Nymphadora I would feel sick as well."

Tonks growled, "stop it Potter."

"Or what Nymphadora? You going to turn my hair pink?"

"You're acting like a child," Tonks hissed.

"Newsflash, I am a child," Harry huffed, "or at least you think so. And yet I don't get pissed off at the mere mention of a silly name, do I Nymphadora?"

"I will hex your bits off Potter!"

"Go ahead, the way my love life's going I might not even use them!"

"And whose fault is that?!"

"I would say Voldemort but honestly it's your fault."

"My fault?! What did I do?!"

"You made me fall in love with you, obviously," Harry blushed as the words came out of his mouth.

"W-what?" Tonks blinked, "I-I….I didn't mean, what? Harry I-"

"Yeah you did! Coming inside my home with your your cute charming self tripping over everything in sight. Smiling like someone hit you with a cheering charm. And then your hair, oh Gods, that hair, I swear if there is only one thing nice about you it's your hair."

Tonks looked confused, surprised and every bit embarrassed.

"Listen closely Nymphadora, you are literally the happiest go lucky person I know. At times like this we need you to be happy. I need you to be happy. You're the only one who can deal with our bull shit, so I'm sorry it has to be you. Smile Nymphadora. Please," Harry begged.

"I-I...I have to leave," Tonk's raised her wand and spun on the spot leaving Harry alone outside the Burrow.

Harry didn't see much of Tonks that summer. Once again she arrived in the burrow but she quickly left before Harry could even talk to her. He left for Hogwarts without seeing her, but after Harry got stunned by Malfoy and left in the train hidden under his invisibility cloak Tonks cam to his rescue.

They had barely made it off the train before it took off going back to London. Harry sighed, "thanks Nymphadora," Tonks twitched and Harry smiled. At this point he was just saying it to get a rise out of her.

"I'll take you back to the castle Potter," Tonks stated as she walked towards the school expecting Harry to follow.

Harry narrowed his eyes, she was still angry at him, as she should be. He wanted apologize, but she wouldn't even look at him. It was time to do something drastic. "Okay, you do that. I'm going to The Three Broomsticks for a drink."

Tonk's head snapped back so fast Harry was worried someone had cursed her like that. "What?! Harry this isn't a time to be joking around! We need to get you into the castle now!"

"And why is that?"

"For your own protection!"

"Why?"

"Because there could be Death Eaters lurking everywhere!"

"Really? There are death eaters in Rosmerta's pub? Well then this I have to see. I can imagine it now Nymphadora, them sitting around a table discussing how to take over the world while Rosmerta serves them butterbeers. I even bet when Lucious begins to check her out voldemort will jump up yelling, 'attention servant! How dare you look at that woman when we plan to kill the Potter boy who will undoubtedly walk in any moment?!' Truly a plan he would never see coming."

Harry walked towards the town when Tonks suddenly roared, "Stupefy!"

Harry's wand was out in a flash as he jumped ot the side and shot off a stunner off his own. Tonks dodged the stunner easily as she sent out chains of her spells. Harry's eyes widened as she jumped behind a pillar avoiding all of Tonk's attack.

"That's the spirit Nymphadora! See, I'm in great hands! If a death eater even come 30 feet of me, you'll have him down before he can say-"

BOOM!

Harry jumped back as the pillar exploded. He looked at the girl, "that was a blasting curse! You trying to kill me Nymphadora?!"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Tonks yelled as she sent blasting curse and stunners at Harry.

Harry began to ran, he needed a way out of here and fast, he needed his broom. It was in his trunk, which should be on it's way to Hogwart's right now. Harry got a plan rolling, well not a new plan, and old one. But hey it worked with a dragon it should work with an angry witch, right? Right?

"Accio Firebolt!" Harry casted as he jumped allowing a sickly yellow looking jinx go past him. He looked up, "damn it woman! That was the urine leakage curse!"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!"

"Why? I think it's a lovely name," Harry ducked as another stunner flew past him. He looked to the sky and sure enough the Firebolt came flying at him. On one end was one of Harry's old socks, guess it was a good thing Harry packed his broom last.

Harry grabbed the firebolt and mounted it in one swift motion. Tonk's eyes widened, "oh no you don't!"

She sent stunners after stunner's at Harry. Harry dodged and weaved through them casting a protego to block the ones he couldn't dodge. Soon he climbed high enough that Tonks' spells couldn't surprise him anymore.

"If you need me, I'll be at the Three Broomsticks, don't worry, I'll save one for you!" Harry chuckled as he took off at full speed. Tonks then began to curse, loudly, Harry caught a few words and he was surprised, he barely knew half of them.

Harry removed his Hogwarts robes and wrapped them around his firebolt. He made sure the red and gold stripes were well hidden, don't want anyone to know he should be in school right now. He then quickly cast a colour changing spell on his hair, nothing fancy, just a shade of red so bright anyone could mistake him for a Weasley.

One inside he ordered two butterbeers and waited for Tonks to catch up. The auror in question barged din like a bolt of lighting, "where is he?!"

Rosmerta looked shocked, "I'm sorry, who?"

"She means me," Harry called out. Tonks snapped her head towards him and fixed a glare so venomous Harry figured he would need a few drops from Faux to help him out.

Tonks walked briskly with her wand in toe, she leveled it at Harry, "you're coming with me. Now."

"Have a drink with me first" Harry motioned to the bottle opposite him.

"I'm done playing games Harry," tonks hissed.

"One drink Tonks. That's all. Please," Harry begged.

Tonks glare slowly died down. She sighed, "fine. One," she dropped the wand and sat down grabbing the beer.

"So...how's life?" Harry asked. 'Really? How's life? Stupid Harry stupid!'

Tonk's raised an eyebrow, "really?"

Harry shrugged, "best place to start. Any suggestions?"

"Fine. Well let's see, life's fine, I guess. Currently I'm sitting next to a stubborn brat that seems to have made his life mission to piss me off."

Harry chuckled, "well in my defense you seem to be doing that by yourself. I'm just the icing on the cake."

Tonks narrowed her eyes, "what do you mean?"

"Tonks I doubt you got so bloody depressed because I told you to screw off. Something's bugging you, I know that look. It's the look of an idiot who's taken the world's weight on their shoulder. I know because I see it everyday."

"I don't do that."

"Exactly what I say when Hermione and Ron accuse me of doing just that," Harry sipped his drink. "Why don't you smile anymore Tonks?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm your friend."

"And?"

"Okay, I see it now," Harry nodded, "Hermione was right, it is sad."

"What is?"

"Oh, I was just saying how Hermione was right about when I start acting like an asshole. You know, whenever I open my mouth?"

Tonk raised an eyebrow, but her mouth gave the hint of a smile. "You don't have a monopoly on acting like an asshole Harry."

"Yes, I do, especially the brand of asshole you acting 's called the Harry Potter style, person takes the world on their shoulder and then acts like an asshole to everyone else."

"Really? You're going to lecture me about not being an asshole?"

"It takes someone who's been through this to know what he's talking about."

"You sure youre phase of being an asshole hasn't ended yet? Because you sure as hell are acting like one now."

"Hey at least I'm trying to apologize!"

"Fine I accept your apology! Can we go now?!"

"No, not until you tell me why you are acting like someone just kicked your puppy."

"I don't have to tell you shit Potter."

"Yes you do Nymphadora."

"Why?"

"Because I'm probably the only one who understands."

Tonks blinked. She stood there stunned. She lowered her eyes, "no, you wouldn't."

"Try me."

"I said you wouldn't."

"And I asked you to give me a chance."

"Fine?! You want to know so bad?! Here it is! I hate myself! I hate myself for what I did! You happy?!"

"What you did? Tonks I don't-"

"Sirius Harry!" Tonks snapped, tears flowed freely from her eyes, "I killed him."

Harry was confused, "Tonk, what are you talking about. You didn't kill him, Bellatrix did."

"And that's because I couldn't beat her," Tonks said crying freely. "I-if I had, then he wouldn't' be dead. He would be alive and with us. He would be with you, I took him from you….that's why I'm not myself Harry, I have no right to be."

Harry put his hand on Tonks'. She flinched as if stung but looked at his eyes, "there is only one person I hold responsible for Sirius' death, and that is Bellatrix."

Tonks shook his hands off, "you don't understand Harry. You never will," she got up and walked away.

"Tonks!" Harry called out as he quickly payed for the drinks and ran out to catch up to her carrying his firebolt with him.

She made her way to the castle as Harry followed behind. He didn't say anything for sometime, she needed to cool down. Finally he spoke up, "the last thing I said to Sirius was a very rude and unpleasant goodbye telling him I would see him next summer. I regret that everyday Tonks, and what I regret more is the fact that I was the one who sprung the trap that got him killed."

"You can't blame yourself for that Harry," Tonks said not looking back, "he knew what he was getting into."

"Yeah, I know. It took me a lot of time to figure that out, and the only reason I did is because I had done it before with Cedric and before with my parents. People die because of me Tonks, didn't you tell me I something about living a life and not simply existing in it?"

"That's different Harry."

"How?"

"Because I don't think love is a weakness," Tonk's took out her wand and summoned her patronus. It quickly took on the form of a wolf that bolted towards the castle.

It took Harry a few moment but he quickly understood. "Remus, you're in love with Remus."

Tonks looked at Harry in the corner of her eyes and nodded, "yes."

Harry chuckled, "and Sirius said we wouldn't work because of our age gap."

Tonks sighed, "he didn't mean it Harry. He only said that because, well because-"

"Because you told him too, I know," Harry nodded. In the distance he spotted Snape walking up to the gates, not perfect, but better than nothing. Harry turned to Tonks, "if he makes you happy Tonks then that's good enough for me. Just promise me next time I see you you'll smile like did before."

Tonks looked surprised. She smiled, not as bright as before, but good enough, "alright Harry. I promise."

That was the last Harry saw of Tonks for some time. Did he get in trouble with that butter beer stunt? Yes, most definitely. He even lost a few pieces of clothing because he summoned his firebolt from out of his truck. But it was worth it. She was happy, now Harry had a job, finding out what he could about Voldemort, luckily he had Dumbledore to help him.

His sixth year was the least mystery filled Harry had. There wasn't a tournament or a monster out to get him, he spent most of it doing something he rarely did, be a teenager. But in this case being a teenager meant training a small army to fight against a snake lord.

Harry stuck to his promise, to never love again. He stuck to it like gospel. He was tempted, so very tempted, Ginny was interested, and now Harry could finally see her as more than just Ron's sister. But that would just make her an even bigger target. He would get her killed, he was sure off it.

It didn't affect his life much, he never was much of a romantic in the first place. His friends didn't find it odd he didn't want a lady love, after all why would he when he had Voldermort to deal with? But someone did notice his change, and he had something to say about it.

Dumbledore and Harry came out of Pensive, they had just seen one of Dumbledore's memories of Tom when he was just a child.

"How was he so evil at that age?" Harry asked.

"His mother convinced him while his father was under the influence of a love potion Harry. The result of which made the child produced from such a unity unable to express or feel the emotion," Dumbledore said as he sat back tired already from the lesson.

Harry sighed, "well then if there wasn't proof enough that love is dangerous there is now."

Dumbledore chuckled, "yes quite," his eyes then got a glare into it, "but Harry you must know something. Love is dangerous, true, but it isn't something to be feared."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "have you ever been in love Professor?"

Dumbledore nodded, "once, long long ago."

"Did it end well?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I….I had to stop them from turning evil, I….I was forced to stop them myself."

"Then there you go. Love is a weakness proffesor, simple as that."

"Harry if you think like that then you are no better than Voldemort."

"No Professor you don't understand. I love. I love Hermione, Ron, the Weasleys, Sirius, Lupin, all of them. But romantic love, well there is where I draw the line."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, "because of young Ms. Tonks?"

Harry chuckled, "I know I should be surprised, but it's not like I've exactly been suttle in my expression. But yes, Nymphadora."

"I believe she doesn't like that name."

"Well she isn't here is she?"

Dumbledore laughed, "quite true, quite true. But Harry, love is a wonderful thing, if you only give yourself the chance."

"I can't. Because the moment I do that's another target for Voldemort."

"Tell me Harry would you die for those you love?"

"Yes."

"Then why can't they die for you?"

"Because I don't want to live in a world without them. It's selfish, but I don't care."

"So you would rather Nymphadora lives with someone else, even if that someone isn't you?"

"Yes, of course I would."

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled as he contemplated something, finally he spoke, "that's very selfless of you Harry."

Harry groaned, "honestly sir, I don't care that it is. I want to be with her, but I know I can't, so the next best thing is for her to be with someone who isn't marked for death."

"Harry you aren't marked for death-"

"-Please sir, don't lie to me. I know I am, and I'm more than willing to fight against Voldemort, I just don't want her to be involved in it, that's all."

Dumbledore remained silent for a long time, he stared into Harry's eyes, and the teenager stared right back. "Harry if I may ask. Why do you like Tonks so much?"

Harry chuckled, "honestly sir? I don't know. The first time I meet her I thought she had the best smile in the world. I loved the way she acted, the way she dressed, the way she could make a room light up with a few words. I loved the way her hair changed to reflect her mood, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy. I suppose it was a curse at first, but then….well I never really did anything to address it and it became something more. Now, well now her smile is gone and I would be happy enough if she just smiles again."

Dumbledore smiled, "Harry for a boy who claims love is a weakness, you seem to understand it better than most people alive. I can't change your mind, but Harry, please, give love a chance."

"I'm sorry professor, but no, I won't."

That year Dumbledore died. And it was Snape that killed him. Draco had let in a small army of death eaters into the castle, and a battle took place. It was bloody, it was brutal. Harry had chased Snape, he ran after him, but in the end he wasn't strong enough.

In the aftermath the members of the order had all gathered around Bill's bed side. He had been scratched by Greyback himself, and while he was in no danger so turning into one himself, he would still be left with many scars.

"I suppose this calls off the wedding," Molly cried in tears.

"What?!" Fleur snapped, "why?!"

"Because-"

"Because of the scars?! So what? They are just that, surely I am pretty enough for us both," she snatched the paste Poppy was applying on Bill, "tell me what to do, I shall do it."

Tonks turned to Remus, "see, she doesn't have a problem! Why don't you?!"

"It's different with them Tonks," Remus sighed, "he won't become a werewolf, but I...it just won't work out."

"Remus I love you, don't you understand that?" Tonks pleaded.

Remus looked down in shame, "I'm sorry Tonks, but it's not right. I'm old enough to be your father."

"I don't care about that! I don't care about your age or the fact that you're a werewolf! I love you Remus Lupin, and I want to be with you!"

"Tonks you don't understand what you're saying."

"Why? Because I'm too young?"

"Yes! You're barely out of Hogwarts!"

Harry watched as they continued to argue, and he couldn't help but feel his heart tear the more and more as Tonks confessed her feelings to Lupin. Harry hated it, and it was just the tip of this already horrible day. First his mentor died and now the woman he loved is trying to be with another man. But in a way it was his fault, he did say he wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn't with him.

But he didn't have to stand here and take this. Harry slowly slipped out of the hospital wing and walked away. His sniffled his nose, he couldn't help the tears flowing down his eyes. All the pressure, all the hate, all the sadness just weighed down on him. He needed to be alone.

Once again Harry found himself sitting on the Astronomy tower window sill. This time he had the locket of Slytherin in his hands, the thing Dumbledore gave his life to collect. It was so small, and yet it was the thing that made Voldemort immortal.

He looked down again, at the Hogwart's grounds. He could end it all right then and there, but once again he had a destiny, a duty. And he had to fulfill it. The people down there, the one's who gave up everything for him, they needed his help. He couldn't just leave him behind.

'Why am I feeling this way?' Harry wondered as he wiped away the tears forming in his eyes, 'it's just a stupid crush. And it's not like I expected her to be with me, it's so pathetic. God look at me, I supposed to be fighting a war, but I'm so caught up over one stupid woman. Some chosen one I am.'

"Harry?" Harry turned and saw Hermione and Ron aproach him.

Harry immediately put on his best fake smile, he won't let them see him crying, "hey guys."

"You don't' have to do that Harry," Ron told him.

"What do you mean?"

"Putting on a fake smile, you don't' have to do that for us," Ron told his friend as he leaned on the window sill to Harry's right.

"I don't-"

"-We saw you leave Harry," Hermione cut in, "we know. We have been best friends since first year, we know."

Harry sighed he let his smile drop allowing another tear to drop down, "it's so stupid. Dumbledore just died, and I'm here worried about some bird."

"Yes but she isn't some bird is she? At least not to you," Ron said patting his friend's back.

Harry gave a wet chuckle, "and we thought you had the emotional range of a tea spoon."

Hermione and Ron smiled at Harry's joke, Harry supposed they let him have this.

"What-what happened after I left?" Harry finally asked.

"Remus said yes," Hermione whispered, afraid that Harry would shatter like glass.

Harry nodded, "he would be an idiot not too."

"How are you okay with this mate?" Ron asked, "if it was me, I would….I wouldn't be able to take it."

"Because I probably won't survive Ron," Harry chuckled, "I'm probably going to die soon."

"Don't' say that Harry!" Hermione screamed, "don't you dare say that!"

Harry chuckled, "sorry Hermione, just a little black humor."

Hermione huffed while Ron just laughed. Harry and his friends sat there looking at the sun slowly rise in the horizon. Harry would never admit it, but he was glad his friends were here with him, he didn't know if he could honestly survive this ordeal without them. Tonks wasn't his first crush, but she was his biggest, and now he could never be with her. But that was fine, he didn't need the distraction, he had a duty to fulfill. Voldemort needed to die.

The summer after that was brief, Harry barely saw it passing by. And soon it came close to his birthday, and once again number four was abandoned and Harry found himself alone.

The Order came for him that night, Harry knew about it this time around and he was ready. The door was unlocked and pushed open, Moody stepped through and immediately Harry placed his wand under the man's chin, "at the beginning of my fifth year who came with you as the advanced gaurd?"

Moody looked at Harry and grinned, "Emmeline Vance, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks."

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" a voice came from outside. Harry sighed, 'of course she would be here.'

Harry stepped aside, "welcome Moody." Quickly number four was once again filled with people. Mundungus Fletcher, Arthur Weasley, Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, George Weasley, Ron Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Hermione Granger, Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Rubeus Hagrid and of course Nymphadora Tonks.

Harry couldn't' help raise an eyebrow as he stared at the people in front of him, "alright I'll bite, why exactly is every person I ever cared for gathered in this room?"

Moody told Harry the plan, and needless to say he was not pleased.

"No. Absolutely not," Harry growled, "this is crazy Moody! Have you been drinking again?!"

Tonks couldn't help roll her eyes, "told you he wouldn't' take it nicely."

"Bloody hell I won't take it nicely!" Harry yelled back, "this is the stupidest plan I have ever heard!"

"Well if you have a better one Harry I would love to hear it," Moody gruffed.

"How about this, we just apparate to Hogsmeade and then fly to the Burrow? See? Simple, easy and everyone I love isn't going to get themselves killed!"

"Can't, Death Eaters have entered the ministry, have total control over that," Bill explained.

"Harry this is our only chance," Remus explained as he put a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder, "we won't die for this Harry, I promise."

Harry knew he was trying to be comforting, but Harry couldn't help feel he was being condescending. Harry shrugged off his hand, "fine, if you all want to kill yourselves, who am I to talk you out off it? I'll get my bags."

Harry walked up stairs to the smallest bedroom in the house and quickly packed his trunk. He hadn't prepared beforehand, doing so just made all of this seem more...real.

"That wasn't very nice Harry," Harry saw Tonk's leaning against his door frame.

"That was the point Nymphadora," Harry said smiling as she growled at the mention of her name.

"Why do you insist on pushing people away?" Tonks asked, seemingly ignoring Harry's use of her first name.

"Because that's the only way I know how to keep them safe," Harry shrugged returning to his packing.

"So you can risk your life for us, but we can't risk ours for yours?"

"Yes."

"That's very selfish Harry."

"I don't care if it is," Harry looked Tonk's in the eye, "I would rather I die than the rest of you."

"Making yourself out to be a Martyr won't give you any point Harry."

"Yes it will, this is the wizarding world, my title is basically proof that Martyrs will be always welcomed in this world."

Tonks remained silent as Harry packed. She then finally spoke, "Remus and I broke up."

Harry stopped, he kept his face away from Tonks, he didn't want her to see the face splitting grin that came across his face. "I-I see. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Oh please, you don't have to lie Harry."

"No, I am serious. Why-why didn't it work out?"

Tonks sighed, "something about...it not being proper."

Harry grumbled, then it wasn't a proper break up. Remus didn't even try. "That's a stupid reason."

"That's what I told him," Tonks chuckled.

"He's just making excuses Tonks," Harry sighed, "you know how he is."

"So you want me to try again?"

"Aren't you going to try even if say no?"

Tonks nodded, "yes."

"Then there's no point in me telling you anything is there?"

Tonks remained silent as Harry finished packing the rest of his stuff. He finally turned around and meet Tonks, he noticed that her hair ws back to it's normal bubble gum pink colour. 'She's happy, good.'

"You know there was another reason he said no," Tonks told Harry.

"What is it?" Harry asked, he didn't want to know, but he had to. He needed to know why.

"You."

"Me?" Harry was taken back.

"He told me it was wrong because you liked me. He told me he didn't feel right taking me away from you."

Harry couldn't' believe it. Remus was using him as an excuse, after everything Harry did, he basically told Tonks to date Remus. He gave up on her and made his peace with it, and now Remus Lupin throws her to the side because of him? Off all the things Harry had to give up this was the hardest, and also it seemed the most pointless.

"Fine, what do you want me to do about it?" Harry asked in a cold voice.

"I was hoping you could tell him he's acting silly," Tonks asked putting her head down, "tell him that there's nothing going on between us."

"I can't do that Tonks," Harry walked passed his room.

"Why not?"

Harry turned around to Tonk, "because I don't want to."

"Harry the man I love says he won't be with me because of you!"

"And the woman I love won't give me a chance because of reasons she never properly explained! I already gave up on you Tonks, and I gave up the chance to be bloody happy! I didn't object to when you fell in love with the man who is basically my uncle and I didn't say anything when you two got together! I stayed silent because I knew it would make you happy! It's not my fault Remus is an idiot, and I'm certainly not going to tell him what to do. If want it, tell him yourself, don't expect me to do it for you."

Harry left the stunned Tonks there as he walked back down. He spotted Ron who waved him over. Harry grumbled, "how much of that did you hear?"

Ron shrugged, "just the last part. And I thought Hermione was loud when angry."

Harry chuckled, "yeah, she has nothing on me."

Remus looked at Harry, he wanted to say something, but Harry wasn't in the mood for it. That night seven Potter's flew with seven guardians. Harry himself flew with Hagrid on Sirius' motorbike. They fought bravely against the death eaters, Hedwig had died, sacrificing herself for Harry. And once again Harry's heart broke.

Hagrid crashed into the location in mind. Harry managed to pull the giant out of the wreckage just as a man walked out of the house.

"Hagrid? Harry?" The man asked.

Harry had his wand pointed at man in seconds, "who are you?"

"I'm Ted Tonks," the man said, "this is the safe house."

Harry was stunned, "y-you're Tonk's dad?"

The man nodded, "yes, I am." The man had brown hair and brown eyes, very normal. Not what Harry was expecting from the father of the little rebel he knew.

"Is Hagrid all right?" Ted asked.

"What? Oh, no, he's hurt," Harry said helping the giant up with magic.

"Get him inside, my wife knows a thing or two about healing magic," Ted helped Hagrid in as Harry followed behind.

The Tonk's household small and very warm. Harry looked around in wonder, this was where Tonks grew up. He looked at the mantle and found several pictures of a little baby girl slowly growing up.

The girl had black hair and warm brown eyes, most of the time that is. Tonks it seemed had her powers from a very young age. She mostly posed with her hair in wild forms, pink, blue, violet, green. But in all the pictures that smile remained, that gorgeous smile that seemed to light up the room.

"Hagrid will be awake in a few moments," Ted said as he stood next to Harry, "the portkey will activate in ten minutes, you have some time."

Harry nodded, "thanks you. And I'm sorry for involving you in all of this."

Ted smiled, "Nymphadora told me you would say something like that."

"Yes well I am a bit of a selfish bastard, at least she thinks so."

Ted chuckled, "sounds like my girl. She told me about you you know?"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "what did she say?"

"That you had the biggest crush on her," Harry coughed in surprise as Ted chuckled, "it's okay son, I don't hold it against you."

Harry blushed, "thanks sir."

"You know you don't have to call me sir, Ted will do just fine. The only boys who call me sir are the one's Tonks brings back home."

Harry laughed, "it's kind of funny to imagine Remus calling you sir."

Ted shivered, "yes, I know the feeling."

Harry looked on questioningly, "you don't approve?"

"Honestly Harry? No. I don't care that he's a werewolf, he could be the king of werewolves for all I care. But he's different. Too different. He's from another generation, one that has fought in the first war. He has lost people, the man he's become can never be with someone who doesn't understand the pain he's been through. Tonks' doesn't understand that, all she sees is a man that needs loving and she goes after him because she thinks she can be there for him."

"That's….understandable," Harry shrugged.

"You don't mind her being with someone else? From what I understand you were head over heels in love with her. She even told me that time you bunked the first day of school to have a butterbeer with her."

Harry chuckled, "yes, that wasn't my most….proud moment. Honestly I was acting like a child. But I didn't care, she blamed herself for what happened to Sirius, I needed to show her that she didn't have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders."

"That's well and good Harry, but you never answered my question. Do you not care that's she's with another man?"

Harry shrugged, "whatever makes her happy."

"Even if that might not be the best thing for her? Even if she winds up getting herself hurt?"

"I can't make her do anything, I mean if you can't then what chance do I have?"

"I heard Remus cares for you, you could tell him to stop seeing her."

"That wouldn't be fair, to Remus and Tonks."

"Harry...forgive me for asking, but do you actually care for my daughter?"

"I do."

"Then why don't you fight for her?"

Harry smiled sadly, "why should I fight for someone who doesn't want to be with me?"

Harry took the portkey to the Burrow with Hagrid soon after. Once there Harry heard what had happened to the rest of the seven.

Moody didn't make it. Fletcher left mid way. George was injured, his ear had been cut off. He made a joke about it, claiming now he was a 'holy' man. But Harry didn't laugh, he couldn't.

The summer went by, Hermione Ron and him began to plan on what to do for their Horcrux hunt. Fleur and Bill's wedding had been beautiful to say the least, too bad it had been destroyed by the death eaters invading.

Hermione Ron and Harry had managed to get away. They were on the run now and there was only one safe place for them to go, number 12 Grimmauld place. They spent a few days there, and got a lead on the real locket from Kreacher. On the fourth day there Remus visited them.

He told them of the ministry and how Voldemort now controlled everything. Harry was claimed responsible for Dumbledore's death and the death eaters were openly searching for them. He then offered to do the unthinkable.

"I want to join you three in your quest," Remus said finally.

Harry blinked, "I'm sorry, what?"

"You need my help Harry," Remus argued, "you three are most assuredly talented and capable. But you are still children. I can help you Harry, you know I can."

Hermione and Ron looked happy, they would have more help, but Harry wasn't buying it.

"What about Tonks?" Harry asked.

Remus looked surprised, "what about her?"

"I mean what is she going to do when you're off with us saving the world?"

"Harry Tonks and I...it wasn't working out."

Harry frowned, "no, for that to be the case you would have had to give her a chance."

"Harry it wasn't right. She is far younger than I and...and-"

"What?" Harry snapped, "because I'm in love with her?"

Remus looked down, "yes. How could I ever take that away from you Harry?"

Harry was angry, really angry, "you idiot!" Remus and the other's jumped in their seat as Harry stood up. "I loved her yes, but dammit Remus that's not a reason for you to be a bloody saint!"

Remus frowned, "Harry-"

"-I'm not finished. I realised it was best that I'm not with her, she would be safer and happier with you, because you are the one she chose! Stop running away from her Remus. Stopping using me as an excuse. Tonks of all people deserves better than that!"

"Exactly! She deserves better than me Harry! Better than a werewolf!"

Harry growled, "no Remus, if there was ever a reason not to be with you it wouldn't be because you are a werewolf, it would be because you're a coward."

Slap!

Harry's cheeks burned red from Remus's hit. Harry winced but looked at man's hateful glare. "Take that back," Remus growled.

"Or what? Going to run away again?" Harry stared right back at him. "I loved her Remus, but I knew I didn't deserve her. Anyone I love has a target on their back, so I told myself I wouldn't fall in love again, and I haven't. I cared for her, but I don't now. I don't love her Remus, so stop using me as an excuse."

"So you don't love her?" Remus asked, "not even a little?"

"No, I don't."

"Then why are you crying?"

Harry didn't realise it, but tears were falling from his eyes. He sighed, "because I'm sad that I'm being used to hurt someone I care about. I can't make her happy, but you can. So please Remus, please...go to her. Take her away, far away from this country and hide. Somewhere, anywhere, France, Germany, h'll, take her to the US for all I care! Just keep her safe Remus."

Remus said nothing. He walked away leaving the three alone once more. Harry plopped down on his seat tears freely flowing. Ron and Hermione said nothing, they leaned down and hugged him.

"Why doesn't he see? I just want her to be happy," Harry cried, "I just want her to smile again. She won't not if she's with me. She hates me. I just want her to be happy."

"It's okay mate," Ron said, "everything will be okay."

"Remus will take care of her Harry," Hermione promised, "he'll do it. He'll make Tonks happy again."

Harry realised then once more that he was a fool. This was his chance, his chance to be happy. All he had to do was tell Remus that he didn't want him with Tonks and the man would have listened. Harry would have his chance with her, maybe she would finally see him as something more than a boy in love.

But she would never forgive him. If she found out what he did she would never even look at him. He wasn't going to ruin her happiness because he was in love. Let at least one of the them be happy, even if the other had to suffer. And since it was Harry's choice, he would rather her be happy then him. He was a fool. A downright fool. But at least Tonks would be happy.

The hunt for the Horcruxes went by. Harry fell deeper and deeper into his work that he forgot all about Tonks. She didn't matter now, she had someone, he didn't have to care about her any more. All he had to do, was worry about killing Voldemort.

There were many sad lonely nights to be had. On nights like that Harry couldn't help but feel like a fool for telling Remus to love her. He didn't want to be alone, he wanted someone there with him. Ron and Hermione had each other. He...he had no one.

Maybe it was pride that made him like like this? He was the hero, and the hero didn't need anyone to help him. No, no that was just silly, he wasn't that proud. No, his problem was the fact that he honestly didn't believe he would survive this war. He knew he wasn't going to, somehow, deep inside him he knew. He was going to die.

And as time went on that feeling was proven true.

War happened. They had destroyed the goblet and the locket. And they had traveled back to Hogwarts for the diadem.

Hogwarts had changed, it felt cruel, almost torturous. Harry had come back though, and the battle he brought with him was devastating.

"How dare you," Harry walked out of the gathered people staring down Snape, "how dare you stand where he stood. How dare you act like would!"

Snape had attacked, but McGonagall had rushed to Harry's defense. Together the teachers had drawn the Death Eaters away, and just then the door opened once more, this time members of the Order stood.

Harry's eyes widened, standing there was Kingsley, Fred, George, Bill, Arthur, Percy and so many more. But two stood out to Harry. Remus and Tonks, standing apart.

Everyone quickly started to plan a defence, Voldemort was coming, that much was sure. McGonagall quickly enchanted the defences awake, the statues woke up and moved to defend the castle. Ron and Hermione went to talk to Neville and Ginny to find out more about the diadem. But Harry wasn't with them.

Harry walked to Remus, who was talking to Arthur, "Remus. What are you doing here?"

Remus looked confused, "what do you mean? Where else should I be?"

"Away. Far far away with Tonks by your side," Harry told the man, "we talked about this."

"Harry...I told you, Tonks and I aren't together."

"Why not?" Harry snapped, "why? I told you, I don't' care about her Remus, why don't-"

"Because I don't want to Harry," Remus cut him off, "she wanted too. She asked again and again. But I couldn't, you love her Harry, I could never take her away from you."

"Remus I told you to take her away, to keep her safe!"

"Yes, well you try telling her that," Remus said pointing behind Harry.

The chosen one turned and found Tonks staring at him. Harry gulped, "I-I...I have to go." 'I can't deal with this. Not now. I have to find the diadem. I need to stop him before he arrives. If I can stop him before the battle begins I can save her life.'

"Harry wait!" Tonks ran and caught up with him. They stood at the first flight of stairs, Harry stopped and slowly looked down at her.

"Tonks I did what you asked. I told him to stop using me as an excuse. I told him to be with you, to be happy and take you away as far as he could."

Tonks nodded, "I know Harry...he told me."

Harry hung his head, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it didn't work out. Believe me, I didn't want this to happen. I-"

"-I know Harry...he told me that you asked him to love me. Even if you couldn't."

Harry nodded, "yeah...I'm sorry Tonks. I tried."

Harry turned to leave by Tonks called out, "Harry wait!"

"What is it?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you tell Remus to be with me?"

"You asked me to, remember?"

"And you said no. What changed your mind?"

Harry shrugged, "does it really matter now?"

"Yes Harry, it does."

"Tonks we are about fight a war, believe me, it doesn't matter. What's done is done."

"Please Harry, I need to know."

Harry looked into her eyes. They were pleading, Harry sighed, "I...I knew we couldn't be together. It's sad, but it's the fact. But I still wanted you to be happy. Remus made you happy, I wanted you to be happy. So I asked him to take you away and never look back."

"Harry...did you even love me?"

"Of course I did!" Harry snapped, "I loved you the moment I saw you Tonks! I...when you told Sirius to tell me to back off it hurt. But I understood. I hated you for it, but I realised it wasn't your fault. And then...when I told you off that day, I hated myself. I realised that above else I wanted you to be happy. So when I found out you like Remus...well there wasn't much I could do."

"But why didn't you move on?" Tonks asked, "why did...why didn't you move on? There are so many girls that would love to have you."

"Because I realised that anyone I loved would probably die," Harry gave a sad smile, "come on Tonks, I told you all this before. Keep up."

"Harry...do you still love me?"

This was the moment of truth. She looked at him with pleading eyes, she needed to hear him. She wanted to be loved, Remus rejected her, she just wanted to feel loved. Harry knew that, but he didn't want to be somebodies second choice.

He didn't want to be the person she turned to after the one she loves rejected her. Did she care for him? Or was she just acting like this because she had no one else? If Remus suddenly decided he loved her would she go running back to him? Would Harry have his heart broken again?

'No...never again,' Harry refused to be used, she didn't love him, but he was sure if he told her the truth she would try too, and she would fail. In the end, there was too much of a difference between the two of them. Harry realised now what Sirius meant. They could never be together, especially not now.

"I'm sorry Tonks, but I don't," Harry's voice was shaky.

"You're a terrible liar."

"It's the truth," Harry argued.

"Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"

Harry looked at Tonks, tears fell down her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I let you get away."

"No...you can't. After all this time you just can't bloody come back and act like this! Not now!" Harry yelled, "it' not fair Tonks! I don't want your pity Nymphadora!"

"It's not pity Harry!"

"Yes it is! Is it not enough that I can't have you? Now I have to stand here and take this as well?! What did I do to deserve this Tonks?! What?! I did everything I could to make you happy and then some! So why on Earth are you doing this to me?!"

"Harry for God's sake, I'm trying to tell you I love you!"

Harry stopped talking. His mouth was open halfway as he stared at Tonks. "W-what?"

"I...I love you."

Harry's grew angry, "that's not funny Tonks."

"I'm not making a joke Harry!"

"Well it sounds pretty funny to me!" Harry yelled back, "after all this time Tonks you can't just suddenly decided you love someone!"

"I didn't!"

"Bull shit! What, just because Remus says so?!"

"No! Because I realised you were the only one who cared if I was happy or not!" her words made Harry pause. She continued with batted breath, "I...I was so confused. After Sirius died, I….I didn't want to be alone anymore. I looked for Remus, I told him I love him, but he never listened. He never cared. He...he always said it was wrong, he never cared what I wanted. And when he finally said yes….he broke my heart, again."

Tonks looked at Harry, "all this time I couldn't see. I've been a fool, such a fool. You loved me, you cared for me. I didn't….I didn't think it was true. I thought it was just a crush. I thought you would get over it, and I thought once I told you I wasn't interested you would just move on.

"But you didn't. You stayed. You were the first one who stayed. Nobody stayed for me Harry, no body. They wanted something from me, wanted my looks, wanted me to change for them, wanted to sleep with me. And when I said no, they left. But you didn't. You stayed. And when-when I asked you to help me, to tell Remus to love me...you did that as well.

"My dad, before...before he died, he told me what happened. What you said to him. How you still cared, even now, after all this time, you cared. Remus left me because of you, I hated you for that, but you never hated me for leaving, you always wanted what was best for me. You wanted to make me smile." tears flowed down freely as Tonks cried her words were smashed from her throat closing up, "I'm sawry Harry. I'm so sawry."

Harry walked down, he wrapped his hand round Tonks and pulled her close. His throat started to choke up, his eyes started to water. Tears flew down freely. Tonks wrapped her arms around him as she pulled herself closer. And they stood there for what felt like forever.

Harry didn't care anymore. He didn't care about the past, about what Sirius said, about what Remus said. About how Tonks left him, or about how Remus left her. He only cared about the woman currently crying into his chest. He needed to tell her, at least once, "Tonks….please, stop crying."

Tonks coughed wet tears, "after all I did, are you still worried about me being happy?"

"Yes….always," Harry told her, "so please. Stop crying."

"Harry...do you still care for me?"

Harry wanted to say no, spare them both the pain, but he couldn't. She looked at him with such hope, finally since Sirius died that sparkle came back in her eyes. And he never wanted it to die down again.

"Yes Tonks...I love you."

Tonks looked into his eyes, and suddenly Harry felt her lean forward.

She caught his lips in hers, and the world exploded. Harry's heart jumped as it started to beat faster and faster. His body shivered as he felt each and every inch of himself covered with goosebumps.

Harry felt his lips part as she kissed it with vigor. Every second felt like heaven. Harry felt something inside him break open. It was a knot, a dam he made when he decided to let her go. All that pain built up inside of him. He refused to let it break him, but now he couldn't stop it anymore.

Harry pressed into the kiss as he felt himself fall in love all over again. Every moment he held back, every time he wanted to run into her arms and tell her he cared for her. He remembered all of it. He remembered her smile, and how he wanted her to be happy. He remembered and for the first time in years he let those feelings win.

When they finally broke the kiss Tonks and Harry didn't let go of each other. They didn't want to. Not now, not ever.

"Harry...after this day. After...all of this...can we give us a chance?"

"Tonks...I might not live through the night."

"No! Don't you ever say that Harry!" Tonks snapped, "I just got you. I just got you and...and I don't' want to lose you again."

"Tonks...I have to fight him."

"I know. And you won't die Harry, I know it. You will win, and you will come back to me."

Harry smiled sadly, "how are you so sure?"

"Because...if you don't, I'll probably never smile again," Tonks leaned against Harry's taller form.

"Tonks...you're being dramatic."

"I'm serious Potter! If you die I swear to God I will never smile or be happy again! So if you really care about me, and want me to be happy you better come back to me Potter! Do you understand?!"

Harry chuckled, "yes ma'am."

Tonks looked into his eyes, "promise me."

"What?"

"Promise me Harry. Promise me that you won't die, and that you'll come back no matter what."

"Tonks...I promise. I'll come back to you. No matter what."

Tonks smiled, "good. I'm going to keep you too that Harry."

"Yeah...I know."

"Tonks! Harry! We need to move!" Harry and Tonks broke apart as they saw everyone run out of the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione ran up to them first, and Ron spoke "he's here."

Harry grew alert, "we need to find the diadem."

"The what?" Tonks asked.

"The lost Diadem of Ravenclaw," Hermione explained, "we believe Riddle used it as a way to become immortal. We need to find it."

"But that's crazy!" Tonks exclaimed, "no one has seen it in living memory!"

Harry had an idea, "then we ask someone who isn't living."

"What do...of course, a ghost!" Hermione exclaimed.

Harry nodded, "I'll talk to the ghost of Ravenclaw, the Grey Lady. Maybe she knows something we can use."

"I'm coming with you," Tonks told Harry before he ran off on his own.

"Tonks they are going to need you in the fight," Ron told her.

Tonks shook her head, "no, they won't. And if Harry has a way to kill the shit lord then me helping him will be much more useful than fighting a couple of Death Eaters."

"Agreed," Harry said quickly, "Tonks, you and I will find the Grey Lady, Ron, Hermione-"

"-We have something in mind to destroy the Horcrux," Ron told him, "we'll find you once we get it."

Harry nodded, "alright."

And with that they were off. Harry and Tonks found the Grey Lady. They learnt of the diadem and Harry remembered seeing it in the room of requirement. After going in there, finding and destroying the diadem they barely made it out with their lives.

The four ran across the castle, which was not overrun by Death Eaters and monsters. Tonks moved them down with spell after spell. Tonks acted as their advanced guards, as she had the most experience while Harry and the other's followed her lead.

"Nymphadora! Come out and play!" Bellatrix's crazy voice sang through the castle corridors. Tonks snapped her head, to the side and there down the hall was the woman who killed Sirius Black.

"Bellatrix!" Tonks yelled as she charged throwing curse after curse at the witch.

"Tonks no!" Harry tried to go after her but was cut off as a purple flew passed him nearly taking his head off. He turned to see Dolohov standing there with his wand pointed at him. "Fine, I;ll deal with you first."

The man attacked Harry with so many spells that Harry lost count. Luckily for the youngest seeker in a century he managed to dodge them all gaining cover behind a pillar. He saw Ron and Hermione sartre torn between helping and running to get help.

"Go! Find other's, I and Tonks have this!" Harry yelled at them dismissing his friends.

"The Dark Lord will reward me for your head Potter!" Dolohov growled as she sent a banishing charm that destroyed Harry's cover.

Harry slipped away as he sent a disarming spell that Dolohov easily dodged, "is that the best you can do?!"

"Your master couldn't defeat me! What makes you think you can?!" Harry roared as he banished bricks at the man.

"DOn't you dare say that about him!" Dolohov yelled as he destroyed the bricks before launching a flame whip at Harry.

Harry ducked and rolled to the side. Dolohov grinned madly as he whipped HArry again and again, "dance for me Potter!"

"Expelliarmus!" Harry threw the spell which Dolohov easily doghead.

"Pathetic! Don't you know any other spell? Even the werewolf put up a better fight!"

Harry stopped and stared, "w-what?"

"Oh, you don't know do you?" Dolohov smiled a sadistic smile, "while you were running and hiding I managed to kill Lupin."

"No." Harry whispered.

"Yes," Dolohov smile grew bigger, "he begged, he begged me to spare him. He said he would do anything. An you know what I did? I -"

"-Bombarda!" Harry roared as he blasted the floor next to the death eater sending rocks and stone into the air. The man was distracted as he protected his face from the debris, and Harry threw a stupefy stunning him.

Harry walked up to the man and spat in his face. But it wasn't enough. This man, he killed Lupin. If he loved he would just claim the imperious and escape prison. Harry looked to the window, he bent down and grabbed the man by the collar. He pull him to the window sill and threw him over.

It was a seven story drop. Dolohov couldn't even scream for his life as he collided head on with the rocks below.

"ARGH!"

"Tonks!" Harry cried out as he ran Tonks and Bellatrix.

He saw the mad witch standing over her niece with her wand glowing green. "Avada ka-"

"BOMBARDA!" Harry roared blasted the curse out. Bellatrix back exploded in blood and gore as her wand flew away from her. He body then flew into the wall being crushed into paste.

"Tonks!" Harry cried out as he ran to the Metamorphmagus' side. His eyes widened in horror as he saw Tonks' beaten form. Her face was bruised and beaten. Her right arm was bent the wrong way in three different places. Her left arm was looked cursed as purple veins slowly seeped into her.

Harry immediately scooped her into his arms and ran to the Hospital wing. He ran in and found several wands pointed at him, the Order was stationed here, all the injured were here.

"She needs help!" Harry yelled.

Madam Pomfrey quickly took Tonks and laid her down as she examined her body. She cursed and quickly began to perform charm after charm.

"What's wrong with her?" Harry asked desperately.

"She's been cursed, the heart stopping curse. Lucky Tonks managed to slow it down, but if you had come here a moment later, she wouldn't have made it."

Harry grew angry, she almost died. He was right, he loved her, and she prayed the price for it. Once again he almost caused the death of someone he cared for. Harry needed to end this. He needed to find Voldemort, now.

He had to die.

Hours later Harry stood in front of Dumbledore's pensive and stared blankly at the portraits on the wall.

He had to die. For Voldemort to be defeated, he had to die. Snape's last memories showed him the truth. Harry had always joked about it, about how the only way this would end was with his death. But now it was true.

He had to die. And Voldermort had to be the one to do it.

Tears rolled down his face. It wasn't fair. He was prepared to die, he had been since the day he found out about the prophecy. He had no reason to live. He had no one he cared for. All those years, he was ready, to lay down and take it.

But the moment he allowed himself to love, the moment he finally found a reason to see tomorrow, he finds out that he has to die. That he must, or else Tonks and the others would die by his hand.

Harry walked out of Dumbledore's office. Hermione and Ron meet him there. Hermione cried, Harry figured she would know what was going on. Ron didn't, and when Harry told him, Ron couldn't bring himself to say a thing.

Harry knew what he had to do. He took out his cloak and draped it around himself. He walked down to the Great Hall and saw the people there. Remus, Fred, Colin, Lavender all of them, dead. The Weasleys were gathered around Fred's body crying for the twin. Harry couldn't help feel that this was all his fault.

He looked across the Great Hall, Pomfrey had moved the patients here, the hospital wing had collapsed. Harry looked around, it took him just a moment to find Tonks.

Harry stood over her and smiled. She looked so peaceful, Harry was worried she had died. But the way her chest moved up and down told him otherwise. Harry reached out and wrapped his hand around her's squeezing it, she smiled at the warmth.

"I'm sorry Tonks. But….but I don't think I can keep my promise to you. Please...don't hate me." Harry bent down and lowered his hood. He then kissed her on the lips, this would be the last time he kissed her.

Harry walked down into the forest. He stood just outside and looked in, 'this is it. I'm...I'm going to die.'

Suddenly Harry remembered, he remembered the snitch. He took it out and kissed it. It's message reappeared, 'I open at the close.' Harry knew what to do now. "I'm ready to die."

The snitch opened and inside clame out a small black rock with deathly hallows carved into it. Harry took the stone and turned it three times. He blinked and he was alone no more.

A woman he had only seen in his dreams and in a mirror stood before him. She had hair red as fire and her eyes...they were just like his. "My boy, my brave, brave little boy."

"You're nearly there son," the man next to her told him. He looked just like Harry, his eyes however were brown, but still just as filled with love as hers was.

"Mom, dad," Harry whispered, but then he realised they weren't the only ones he had called. "Remus, Sirius."

"Harry," Sirius smiled, "you're looking well."

"Sirius I'm sorry," Harry cried out, "the last thing I said to you, I...I so sorry."

"Harry, it doesn't matter," Sirius smiled, "you are still my godson. In life and in death."

Harry blushed as his throat choked, "I'm sorry Sirius."

"Harry, stop, please. Don't cry my boy, not for me."

"But if I hadn't fallen into that stupid trap-"

"-then Voldemort would have gotten the prophecy one way or another. You aren't to blame Harry, there is only one person to blame, and she is now dead as well."

Harry nodded, "Sirius...you were wrong."

The Black smiled, "what do you mean?"

"About Tonks...you were wrong."

Sirius nodded, "I know… I'm glad."

"She made the right choice Harry, in the end she realised the truth," Remus spoke up. "She deserved better than me, she deserves you."

Harry turned to Remus, "and now...I have to leave her. I have to break her heart." Harry looked back to his parents, "I didn't want you to die for me. I didn't want any of you to die."

"We know honey, we know," Lily smiled, "but we choose too Harry."

"Because we love you," Jamie put his arms around Lilly.

"Why can't this be simple," Harry cried, "I wish I just had more time….more time to spend with everyone. One more year to spend with them all. With Hermione, Ron, with Tonks."

"Life's not fair Harry," Remus said sadly, "you off all people must know that."

"I'll be leaving her alone," Harry remembered, "she'll hate me for that."

"She will," Sirius nodded, "but in the end, that is another burden you will have to carry Harry."

"Will it hurt?" Harry asked.

Sirius smiled, "faster than falling asleep."

"We'll be with you son," James told him boy, "till the end."

"And he won't be able to see you?"

"No, he won't'," Lilly whispered into his ear.

"Then stay close," Harry put his cloak back on and walked into the forest.

He reached Voldemort. He dropped the stone in the ground and stuffed his cloak into his pocket. He readied himself and slowly stepped out to meet the man.

Immediately all the death Eaters around Voldemort stayed silent. The dark lord turned to Harry. "The boy who lived. Come to die."

"Get on with it Tom," Harry spat out.

"Very well," the dark Lord drew the Elder wand, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The sun was slowly rising on a new day. It was an hour away from breaking the horizon, but the land was still bright enough to see. The bridge to Hogwarts was beaten, but the dark army crossed with in at their head was Voldemort himself.

"Voldemort's coming!" Ron called out to everyone. The people inside the castle walked out, they could see the oncoming army of darkness aproach them. They gathered out on the rubble covered courtyard. Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, Neville, Luna, the Hogwarts staff and the rest of the Order that was still alive.

Tonks woke up because of the ruccs, she winced in pain as she sawy everyone rush outside. She caught Pomfrey before the mediwitch left, "what's going on?"

"He's here," was the simple response she got.

"Where's Harry?" Tonks asked realizing she couldn't see him anywhere.

"I don't know, no one has seen him for some time."

Tonks heart clutched, 'no..no it can't be.' "Help me up Pomfrey," Tonks grunted as she slowly got back on her feet.

"Ms. Tonks you need to rest-"

"-No, I need to see this." Tonks did leave much to be argued as Pomfrey finally agreed helping her outside.

Tonks watched in horror as Voldemort stepped into the castle with an army at his back. Tonks spotted Hagrid, he walked behind with chains on his neck, crying as he held something in his hands.

"What's Hagrid holding?" Ginny asked.

Tonks couldn't speak. She knew. She knew without a shadow of a doubt what Hagrid was carrying. Her legs grew weak. Pomfrey was surprised as Tonks suddenly went limp as she fell to the ground.

"Tonks! Are you alright?!" Pomfrey asked.

"What happened to her?" Ron asked as he and Hermione came to her side.

"She just collapsed," Pomfrey informed them as they helped her back to her feet.

Tonks was crying, she was crying freely as tears came down her face. "You promised Harry. You promised me," Tonks mumbled out as she choked on he tears, "why?!"

"Tonks! What's going on?!"

"That's Harry," Tonks screamed out, "Hagrid is carrying Harry!"

Everyone turned to the half-giant and slowly they recognized the body. They cried, they cried and cried, and Voldemort relished the feeling.

He stepped up and threw his arms open, "Harry potter is dead!"

"NO!" Hermione shirked as she fell into Ron's arms.

"Silence girl!" Voldemort hissed. He looked at the people, "you put your faith in the wrong man. He was captured trying to escape, fleeing while he left you all to die in his place."

"You're lying!" Tonks roared, "you're lying!"

"Crucio!"

"ARGH!" Tonks fell to the ground as Voldemort tortured her for what felt like hours. The pain was too much, Tonks cried out until finally he cut off the spell.

Voldemort laughed, he turned to his followers, "Harry Potter is-"

"-AVADA KEDAVRA!" a green bolt of light flew at Nagini. The unblockable curse tore through the wards Voldemort had cast on the snake hitting it on the head truing it to dust.

Voldemort clutched his chest, "no! Who did that!"

"It came from the giant my lord!" a death eater yelled out.

Harry's body then pushed of Hagrid and he jumped to the ground and aimed at Voldemort, "Avada kedavra!"

Voldemort summoned a piece of stone that absorbed the curse. The dark lord looked on his disbelief as Harry stood there, alive.

"Harry!" Neville yelled out in surprise.

"Harry's alive!" Hermione cried.

Tonks lifted her head, she psuehd through the pain, and she saw him standing there against the greatest evil the wizarding world had ever know. "Harry," she whispered, but he couldn't' hear her.

"How are you alive?!" Voldemort yelled as slowly all chatter died down. The death Eaters, the Order. Nobody made a move. This battle was theirs alone.

"That wand...it was never yours," Harry explained, "it was never Snapes. That night, Draco was the one who disarmed Dumbledore, he is it's true master. And a few hours ago, I disarmed him. That wand in mine Tom, it can never be used to harm me."

Voldemort looked at the wan he carried in horror, "no...no!"

"Do you want to know what? I found it Tom. The power, that the prophecy spoke off, I found it."

"No power you have could ever defeat me Potter!" Voldemort roared as he threw the killing curse at Harry once more.

Harry sent out his own, the two spells met mid way as they collide in a sparkle of golden light. The power then retraced its steps hitting Harry and Tom anding them flying back.

Harry picked himself up, "do you know what it is Tom? Do you know what you will never have? What you will never feel?"

Tom grabbed the Elder wand, "is it love Potter? Is that the power?"

"Yes Tom, it is."

"You and Dumbledore are the same, love is a weakness Potter, and it always will be!"

Harry shook his head, "no Tom...love is not a weakness. Love is the reason we live. Love...is the reason I am live today. I made a promise Tom, a promise that I had to keep."

"And what's that?"

"That I would come back, no matter, I would come back after I kill you. That I would live to see the next day. And I intended to keep my promise."

Tonks got on her feet as she cried openly once more. "Harry!"

Harry didn't look, he knew she would be there. He drew back his wand, and Voldemort drew his. They fired at the same time. Harry cast the disarming spell, he didn't have the energy to cast another killing curse. The red and green streams of energy meet in place once more. And this time Harry pushed.

Voldemort felt Harry's power overwhelm his own. His wand started to vibrate, slowly the the golden light took over him as Voldemort flew backwards.

The Elder wand flew out of his grip, the green spell it emitted hit Voldemort in the head. The dark wizard felt his soul slowly being ripped away. Hsi husk of a body finally hit the ground, dead. And the wand flew into Harry's open hand, content to be with it's new master.

The Death Eaters had all ran after that. They knew a lost cause when they saw one. Harry knew they couldn't' catch them all. But it didn't matter, they would face justice, eventually.

Harry walked to the people gathered, they cheered, they hugged their families as they cried in joy. They cheered his name, but Harry ignored all of that. He ran to Tonks and locked eyes with her, "I kept my promise Tonks."

Tonks smiled "yes, you did," he legs then gave out. Harry caught her before she fell.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, Voldemort, his spell...it still hurts."

"I'm sorry," Harry held her close, "but he won't hurt you, never again."

Tonks nodded, she leaned forward and kissed him. Harry was stunned, but smiled as he leaned into the kiss, holding Tonks in his arms.

The battle drew to a close. Harry walked down the Great Hall with Tonks by his side.

"So...what now?" Tonks asked.

Harry shook his head, "honestly? I don't know. I….I never really stopped to wonder about a life without Tom."

"I see," Tonks nodded as she and Harry sat down on a bench watching the sun slowly rise.

"So… did you change your mind?"

"What?"

"Before this all started, you told me that you wanted to try this, us, being together. I'm asking you if that's still what you want."

"Harry...you are the most annoying person I meet," Tonks said flatly. Harry blinked, 'that's….unexpected', "you say you love me, but you never once actually tried asking me out did you?"

"Well that's because you would have probably said no!"

"Well you still didn't ask! And you still didn't!"

"Fine!" Harry jumped up and went to one knee, "Tonks, would you please for the love of that is good, please, please go out with me?!"

Tonks hummed, "well I'll have to think about it…."

"Nymphadora!"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!"

"Or what?!"

"Or!" Tonks grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up sealing their lips in a kiss. Before Harry could react Tonks broke it and smiled, "or I'll do that."

Harry blushed, "i-is that a yes?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. She pulled him into a kiss again. "What do you think?"

"Ah...maybe one more time, I think I had something in my ear, couldn't hear properly."

Tonks laughed, she kissed him one more time. Harry felt it again, that spark, that feeling of bliss. That feeling of not being alone anymore. Being with her made him happy. Her smile, her laugh, her energy. She was like the sun, he needed her. And now, finally, after all this time. He finally had her. Harry didn't know what the future held, he didn't care though. Whatever happens, he'll be happy as long as he had her by his side.

* * *

 **There we go, an one-shot about Tonks and Harry! My favorite couple in all of Harry Fanon, well that and Harry X Fleur, but I feel like this hasn't been given enough attention as off late. I tried to make it a nice balance of drama and romance, which really isn't my style, but I wanted to try something new.**

 **Please review and tell me what you think. Also if you want to see other one-shots which you think are interesting let me know, I might do it.**


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